So this is basically the plot for pretty much every single disney movie known in the history of ever.
– girl is an ugly nerd with glasses and tacky clothes.
– girl goes to school and gets picked on by hot clique.
– girls secretly crushes on yummy boy with yummy stomach and face.
– girl complains how she’ll never get him.
– yummy boy accidentally walk into her and her backpack explodes everywhere.
– eyes meet in dramatic slow-motion and more tacky music plays in background.
– girl fangirls for next 40 or so minutes.
– prom night approaches and he decides “hey, i’ll ask girl.”
– girl fangirls some more after montage scene of her getting ready to more tacky music.
– girl is about to leave house in her new makeup and thousand dollar dress that magically appeared out of no where when her freind says, “wait! I have a great idea!”
– genius friend takes of the girls glasses in slowmotion with Kelly Clarkson blasting in the background.
– lo and behold, girl is actually super hot without glasses and is Cara Delevigne reincarnated.
– girl walks down stairs with more Kelly Clarkson playing, as guy awaits at the foot of the stairs like, “wait what. when did that happen.”
– guy and girl go to prom and dance all night.
– guy and girl eventually make out. well, disney style. so they peck eachothers cheeks.
– girl finally happy and they date forever and ever and have little disney babies, as shown below.
I mean c’mon, look at that tagline. “The rest of your life begins tonight.”
And honestly, everyone at some point in their teenage-hood sprouts from a seedling/weed to a beautiful flower.
But of course somewhere along the way, a certain someone in the sky decided, “hey, I have a great idea! I’ll subject some poor, sad loser to a tragic life of cats, food and Tumblr. Ha! I’m hilarious!” And unfortunately that sad, tragic loser is me.
But I’ve figured it out now. My life is Disney Movie! Just, you know, without the major transformation from fugly man child to super hot Victoria Secret model.
– I totally rock my super sexy glasses and bargain basket clothes.
– I go to school in my potato sack of a uniform only to get mocked by the “cool people.”
– and of course I have a crush on the ridiculously delcious to look at guy who’s abs and face practically glows with yumminess.
– I complain how he’ll never love me like I do and how I’m doomed to die a tragic life of loneliness.
– accidentally walk into delicious boy and drop my laptop oh so gracefully on his foot.
– our eyes meet in slowmotion and at the slightest glimpse of my chins (yes, chinS) he recoils in disgust and runs as fast as he can to try and escape breathing the same air as the man child that is me.
– I fangirl for the next 4 years or so.
– prom night approaches and he decides “hey, i’ll ask that super hot chick.”
– that super hot chick isn’t me.
– super hot chick and delicious boy date forever and ever and have more little hot babies.
– I cry for the rest of my life and resort to hibernating in my castle of blankets, pillows and food as I pathetically snort/wheeze/laugh at cat GIFs.
– start a failing business as a guinea pig breeder, and trainer.
– die sad and alone because even my guinea pigs ran away.
So there you go. My tragic life summed up in less than 200 words.