We all know how the fangirling works.
Everyone falls in love with some hot guy/s and obsesses over them for a few weeks, and then someone else will win a talent show and THEY will be the next craze. But a few months later everyone will be to starstruck by some other bieber haired, british accented, abs-ified person.
So I decided to write a list on how to become a one hit wonder!
Step 1) Get a Bieber cut. This is crucial. Without it your “boy band” look will be a failure and do you know how many people will fangirl? None. Moral of the story; get a Bieber hairstyle even if it may result in a lazy eye.
Step 2) Fill your wardrobe with tight pants and tight pants only. Throw out any shirts you own and burn them. After observing a group of girls obsessed with boy bands, I noticed that this could be turned into a valuable maths lesson. Tight pants+no shirt=thousands of girls staring at for poster that is now hung up on their wall.
Step 3) Abs. Enough said. Wihtout these step 2 will be unsuccessful. If you own a killer 6 pack the ladies will be drooling at just the sight of your stomach.
Step 4) Write a song about how amazing girls are and how pretty they are, these are commonly the most successful.
Step 5) Make a music video with lots of close ups of your new abs, and your face. For a video to be a success (a.k.a have everyone frozen still as they get lost in your incredibly edited blue eyes and faint with your attractive “boyishness.”) make sure yourself look wild, care free but also show a gentle side of yourself. To do do, switch from a party scene where you are being ‘lyk tots h3ckaz’ and then switch to a beach scene in the sunset and your holding a girls hand.
Step 6) Come up with a ridiculous statement that will make all your fans laugh. A good example of this is saying to everyone at your first concert, “My name is __________ and I am terrified of chinchillas.” For some reason, girls love this and will be screaming your name from every possible direction.
And that, my friends, is how you become a one hit wonder.
Feeln' Philoslothical. 